Friday, October 13, 2006 Today in the morning.
I received your message, as usual.
It was five pages long.
I thought it was supposed to be an advicing post.
But it wasn't.

You told me frankly that I will fail my subjects in Sec 2.
You told me I keep going to school early and returning home late.
You told me like this I won't concentrate that well.
You told me Sec 2 life ain't the same as Sec 1's.

When I'm in Sec 2, you said that one cannot wish to excel.
They can only wish for a PASS.
But who doesn't aim for the best?
There's one proverb that says:
Always aim for the sky,
for if you fail,
at least you can reach the clouds.
Is it that bad to aim high?
Keith aims for fullmarks for nearly every subject too.
Of course I'm not wishing for fullmarks like him,
I'm not that confident.
But can't I wish for a 'B' at least?
You said a just-pass is good already,
but will my parents like it?
They will think bad about me and tell me to work harder.

I've high targets for myself too.
But just one sentence from you made my spirits low.
"I doubt you can pass your subjects in Sec 2"
I know you're being frank with me,
by saying all your comments, feeling, whatever.
But why must your words be so harsh?
You mentioned that Amelia said that in Sec2,
we can't expect much.
A pass is very good already

But think,
when you're in sec 3,
as each and every subject gets complicating and more difficult
you mean getting an E8 is good already?
Then you mean in Sec 4,
when it's the O'level's time,
getting F9 is good already?

They bythetime you go Poly/JC,
you said getting a U is good.
This is like so absurd.
Though I know we can't that much,
but at least give me some freedom to think.
Don't try to lower my moods by telling me I'll fail.
Obviously, I don't wanna fail.
So from next year onwards, I'll try not to return home too late.
Like I'll be back by latest 3.30pm?
I'm not asking you to control,
'cause seriously I hate being ordered around.
I'm just letting you know I've a timelimit to reach home each day.

Wait a minute, at the very last part,
you told me to strive harder,
perhaps you wouldn't see me again.
So your transfering-of-school is confirmed already?
Why? Why? Why?
Did you choose to tranfer?
Did you choose to leave your friends?
Did you choose to leave me?

I know I can't possible ask you to stay;
it's all beyond my control.
Though I know you for 4 years already,
I'm only close to you this year.
Perhaps I'm oblivious to your care&concern when I was in Pri school.
I don't know why I'm writing this.
But I think you know that.
I'll definitely miss you.

Your words of advice,
your nice and sweet letters, with those CHEEM words,
your HYPERNESS,
your broad and brilliant smile each day,
your CRAZINESS,
your saying-hi-to-every-stranger style
your jokes,
your laughter ..

I'll miss all of 'em I promise!
I'll make sure you don't leave Kranji with sad memories.
I can't bear to leave with a friend whom I'm close with,
whom I share all my secrets with.

I know you're those type of keep-to-yourself-when-you-see-me-facetoface person.
You tell me all your feelings only through sms.
I know that. I've such friends too.
Now I train you to be more daring!
Is that okay with you?

& I know you care about me,
by asking whether I'm sad or not almost everyday,
just by looking at my facial expressions,
and the number of words I speak to you.

I can always tell you this,
I'M NOT SAD, AT ALL TIMES!
& I'll NEVER BE SAD! BELIEVE ME.
Perhaps I'm only sad upon reading your sms,
but awhile later, I'll get over it definitely.
I wouldn't remember your advice and kind words.

I'll miss your letter!
I won't make you regret your schooling in Kranji,
even if it's for a year only.
'Cause you're my friend,
& will FOREVER be one...
:D ----